


La Douleur Exquise

by leahsmindpalace



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, gay and sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 04:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10268783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leahsmindpalace/pseuds/leahsmindpalace
Summary: "Why do you say life is something to forget?" Enjolras asked Grantaire one day.





	

"Why do you say life is something to forget?" Enjolras asked Grantaire one day. 

 

Grantaire looked up, taken aback. He and Enjolras were the only two left at the Musain that day, and he wasn't exactly sure why he'd stayed so late with the blonde. Well, of course he was, he wanted E to see him. But…not this. Not through him. 

 

"What's the meaning of your question?" R laughed a bit, although the smile didn't quite reach his eyes that shifted timidly in a nervous drunkenness. 

 

"I only ask such a thing because you've said yourself that it is. Well, it's piqued my curiosity. Is that so wrong?" 

 

"I was drunk when I said that." 

 

"Well, you're rarely sober, R." Enjolras retorted, huffing a bit as he looked down at some papers, presumably reading and carrying a conversation at the same time. 

 

"Touché." Grantaire huffed bitterly. "Then I suppose I said it because I believe it." 

 

"I thought you had no beliefs." Enjolras teased. 

 

R just blinked at him for a few moments. "Well, some things you believe because they're fact, not because they're childish fantasies of a perfect world. The fact, E, is that the world is not so black-and-white. But it is consistently consistent with suffering." He said, taking a swig from his bottle, as if that was that.

 

"Well, we agree on that." The Apollo looked at him finally and R slowly lowered the bottle from his lips, suddenly hanging onto every word he said. "The difference between you and I is that I actually have hope. Where is your hope?" 

 

Grantaire thought about that for a moment, not getting a chance to respond before Enjolras continued. 

 

"Life must have treated you unkindly. Anyone can deduce that by the way you drink. Or by the fact that you have no family. Or your words. The words and phrases you speak or mutter when you think nobody is listening. Well…I hear you." He raises his eyebrows before looking back down at his work.

 

"So… you pity me then?" 

 

"Quite the contrary. I respect you. You are strong, you simply don't know it." E says. "You would make a fine revolutionary if only you had a brain unbinded by the ties of liquor. Or if you believed or hoped or cared." 

 

Grantaire wasn't sure how to respond, just listening to him speak. 

 

"I wonder why you even attend our meetings here anyway." He looks up, gesturing to the room around him. "But then I think we must be your only friends. Am I correct in assuming that?" 

 

"Per-perhaps. I do have many…acquaintances, but yes…you all are my friends, I suppose." Grantaire responded finally, feeling a lump in his throat. 

 

"Well, that's an honour, coming from a cynic such as yourself." Enjolras smirked a bit. 

 

"I don't only see bad in the world." Grantaire said after a few moments of silence, staring at the bar. "I…I do see good occasionally."

 

"Oh, yes?" E looked up. 

 

"Yes. I see you." He states, knowing he'd regret saying that later when he was of a more sound mind. 

 

The Apollo closed his books and crossed the room then, taking his face into his hands. Grantaire began to feel self-conscious, his black curls disheveled, his lips wet with strong drink, and his cheeks blushed. 

 

"And I you, R." Enjolras smiled warmly at him before letting him go, leaving the Musain for the day. 

 

Grantaire, wishing he'd met the man then with a kiss or confession, instead went home and wept.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish for me to continue, let me know. I'd like to make a happy ending for this because holy hell, the angst.


End file.
